"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of all these is love." (1 Cor 13:13)Someone once said this, "You can do and give without love. But you cannot love and not do or give anything." I believe this to be so true.
The church started a new series, "Stay till the End", a series on finding out the blueprint for lasting relationships. The question that starts off this series is, "What is the ONE thing that you need to be able to stay till the end in any relationships?" I thought it is faithfulness. Not wrong maybe, but not complete. Come to think of it. It is possible for anyone to remain faithful in any relationships and stay till the end. But it is still incomplete. Maybe, the answer is commitment. Many relationships survived through commitment too, but still incomplete. Incomplete because it has a missing element. The very basic foundation of what every relationships should be. LOVE. And to love one another. (John 13:34-35)
It is no longer alright to remain in the same status quo. Surviving in a relationship. We are called to enjoy and live in the fullest and fullness of every relationship. And if I am at a survival stage, I need to feel uncomfortable. I need to come in terms to realise that this is not of God. No wonder 1 Cor 13:13 calls for love to be the greatest among all three. Something in us have died if we remain hopeful and faithful, but empty of love.
It is a choice to make and it doesn't comes easy, especially when relationships has been laid off to survival stage for many countless days. I am reminded of my core values for my marriage and my family. "Stubborn Love, Persistent Honour." To put oneself before the other is a very difficult choice and thing to do. Even if that person is someone close to your heart. Usually, it is not the big things that comes my way that my core values are tested, but the small and insignificant ones. As simple as, "Will I put down my laptop and boil lemon grass juice for my husband." "Will I watch Transformers 2 with my husband/son even though I seriously have no taste for it?"
The worst spot to ever find myself in is when God puts you there to test and try you through until you get it. Learning to say and do "YOU FIRST" is hard. Many times, I do not feel like doing it, or think I should be the first to do it. The going gets tougher and tougher when the result is not what I expected - Appreciation. Next, God will show up to say, "Do it unto me, even if there is no return. Do it until it pains you, bleeds you, cuts you and it costs you."
I learn and is still learning and growing. I am no good at it but I sincerely wanting to do it. It is painful to think that I am in a relationship that has all it takes - loyality, faithfulness, commitment, obligations, responsibilities, (It is good attributes and values) except LOVE. That is probably why 1 Cor 13:13 stands out.
And the amazing thing is, when I start to want it and do it. I grow in it. I grow in love. And it is not just about the feelings of love, but love for love alone. I began to make lemon grass juice out of love. I watch 'Transformers 2' out of love. It rekindles the spark and fire in my relationships. I learn to ask this question intentionally, "What is the most loving thing I can do for my husband/son?" It's no longer a chore, a burden, a drag. It comes out from a heart that is alive. And it started by making a decision to make love a verb. (as what was preached in Sunday message).
As I reflect Sunday message, I am reminded what I read in Bill Hull book, "The Complete Book of Discipleship" (Pg 139 to 142) base on John 13:34-35
"A new command I give you." This command raises the stakes of love. It means more than "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." It means more than turning the other cheek, forgiving someone who hurt you, or blessing those who curse you. Jesus asks us to do the impossible: to love other people until they 'get it.' Jesus reveals a new standard in His new commandment. He commands us to love others until it shatters defenses, brings down strongholds, tears apart barriers, and even slips through the firwalls of culture. This is the revoluation that Jesus calls His disciples to, and it requires sacrifical living.
A discipleship question that I have to ask myself all the time, "Am I loving Jesus enough to be willing to do it just for Jesus."
