A Good Thing to Behold

“He who finds a wife finds a good thing. And obtains favour from the Lord.'
Proverbs 18:22

I realized that many wives love quoting this verse to their husbands, including myself. Wives consider their husbands 'fortunate' to have them as their wives as the saying goes, "Man, you have found a good thing."

A good thing! What exactly good has the men found? What is there to behold in this ‘good thing?’

There are many attributes that builds up a woman of inner beauty. The bible has enough scriptures to support that. The best example we can learn and draw from is none other than that found in Proverbs 31. As I ponder through the attributes of that ‘good thing’ a man could proudly behold in his wife, the following three outshines the rest:

Honour – Honouring others is not an option but a command based on Romans 12:10.
It simply means to value someone more than ourselves; to treat people as precious and with respect. Love and humility play an important part in someone who truly knows how to honour others. As a wife, honouring our husband is ‘non-negotiable’. It is given regardless of what he has done or not done; it is about honouring the person per se. The common mistake many wives tend to make is in degrading the man’s ego by refusing him his due respect. This is not only dishonoring but also damaging. Another reminder is that we bring honour to our husbands when we honour their parents. Learning to honour someone adds to that attribute of ‘a good thing’ in a woman.

Contentment – Learning the secret of being contented adds beauty to the woman. It is not about having little and being poor, but the state of mind and heart that overflows from a grateful soul, knowing that God is All-Sufficient (Philippians 4:12). Imagine a wife who carries with her a heart of contentment. She knows how to give praises in plenty and in scarcity. She learns the virtue of spending below her means. She complains little, praises much and stays joyful in all circumstances. She is the ‘good thing’ to behold indeed.

Giving – God has created women uniquely to be givers. Many of them have assignments in their home, workplace, congregation or community. Yet they have the amazing capacity to give sacrificially and even much more when the call arises. They give their time, their love and release life through child-bearing. Giving increases the heart of contentment. Giving and contentment go hand in hand. Have you been giving your love to someone underserving lately? What about giving your time to serve in the Children’s Church? Or investing into someone’s life besides your own children? Be a giver; a cheerful one.

While Proverbs 18:22 is obvious for the men, it is also applicable for us as women, single or married. If you are someone’s wife today, take time to really ask yourself the honest question, “How have I been that ‘good thing’ that my husband proudly beholds?
Singles or marrieds, we all have a legacy to live up to and pass on. We have a responsibility to teach and impart.

A Christ-Centred Marriage

A CHRIST-CENTERED MARRIAGE
IS A MARRIAGE THAT IS SURE TO LAST A LIFETIME

My son posted this article in his facebook a moment ago. I have a tendency to read whatever that was posted, especially if it is an article, a note or journal. This one that I had read never left any regrets. Read for yourself:

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

A CHRIST-CENTERED MARRIAGE IS A MARRIAGE THAT IS SURE TO LAST A LIFETIME.

So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. Matthew 19:6.

By Stephanie Halmilton