Friday, June 26, 2009

I Fear


I fear adventure. I so feared it because I am caught in those highs and lows, fast and rapid that I can easily lost knowing why I am in the adventure. I fear adventure because I enjoyed it too much for it's plain enjoyment and missed the listening points along the way. I feared adventure because I am naturally good at it and I have myself to praise. I fear adventure because I find myself yearning for adventure alone. I fear it because I can gained the adventure but lost my spirit.
These weeks have been tight, tensed, fast going and tough for me. There are transitions I need to take at home front. Meetings and deadlines to respect. Preaching and teaching to prepare. Listening ear to lend. Relationships to build and deepen. Teams and ministries to lead.
I embrace all these too well that I am fearful of leaving too little time to process. I am afraid of achieving the objectives and arrived on time and on the right spot, but find having little to give thanks. I can be right but sincerely right about the wrong things I am embarking. And I am afraid of being afraid.
I recognised there's only one adventure I need to embark. Intentionally - The adventure of searching my heart. Slotting this only adventure into all adventures.
The tide is fast. The waves are rapid. The currents are strong. The winds are beating. My boat is still and serene.
The adventure of searching my heart in Him. I feared it but I loved it most.

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